“NO!”
— the shout that started the process of “recovery,” my “reincarnation” (coming back into my body/life) —
After weeks in an intensive care unit, I finally came back to life when, from the deepest place in my body, I found myself shouting “No!”
We are born…
And our brain is shapeless. Words and concepts have not yet colonized it.
There is a “self” (should we even use that word?) that exists that is pure perception.
In that state, nothing is stored for recycling.
You live…
It is neither “life,” nor “art,” nor “experience.”
You live.
Then come those who say: “tell us all about it! Make sense, let us know, make us understand!“
However hard this hospitalization is/was, it is a trip… an initiation into something that cannot be communicated.
Just like anything worthwhile.
Just like becoming a shaman.
OR
You can view this as a Torah(Teaching) Scroll where you will spend the rest of your life
trying to interpret it – my advice, as Susan Sontag says, don’t.
It is what it is.
ALONE.
AND UNIQUE.
In the extremely long road of recovery – one does not recover – everything appears as what it is: a series of addictions.