To my father, the artist-photographer Ervin Marton, and Nusch Éluard, Joseph Kessel, Jean-Pierre Melville – all French Resistance fighters – and to Maya Deren, with her own resistance – who ALL imploded without making it back.
All materials presented on this BrainBleed blog by Pier Marton are Copyright Marton 2013
[More Details Below***]
This site is related both to the School of No Media [a particular consequence of the implosion] – and to Pier Marton, the author.
FOR MORE FACTS ABOUT STROKES
PLEASE GO THE AMERICAN STROKE ASSOCIATION
As per my first post, after my brain hemorrhage, I looked for websites to guide me along. Short of that rare meeting when I could compare notes with another survivor, there was no place on the web to consult. So… brainbleed.blog!
To summarize, I went from “ICU-hell” (a body confronted to the poverty of language and the “wild rides” of delirium) to a present and constant knowledge of what I call the “arrogance of normalcy” – in other words as with many other disabilities, I am not “normal,” yet most people are unaware of it.
Even though a “brain-bleed” is what happened, the key factor is that I was absolutely unable to communicate for a very long time.
I was just a pair of eyes taking in reality, the way animals do.
I am neither a doctor nor a health professional (PLEASE do consult them if you are looking for more than just support – this blog nor its participants can be liable for any misinformation), I started this site because I had not ever heard of nor seen anything paralleling my experience.
As the creator of “Brain Bleed” I reserve the right to edit or block any contribution/contributor that I deem not to be furthering a supportive environment. Disagreement is allowed but, please no flaming, rants or insults. Yes there is uneven care out there but this is not the place to bad-mouth any medical staff.
With time I will add categories but this is a mind map I created to guide me along at this point.
- Brain Bleed/Hemorrhage Mind Map ©Marton 2011
Please feel free to comment so I can tweak the mind-map to reflect the community of brain bleed survivors.
The AVM Survivors Network has some good guidelines that I would think would be just right here too:
2. No Personal attacks
3. No Offensive content (profanity, sexual references, illegal activity subject matter, pornographic material or photos)
5. Specific doctor or hospital names mentioned in a negative context, for legal reasons.
***
In May 2008 – on a particular night when I thought that my mother was dying (my blood pressure went way up) – I had a brain hemorrhage (cf. symptom below*) which was followed by three weeks in an I.C.U. (Intensive Care Unit).
I spent the first part of that summer at the hospital and in rehab – surrounded by a great many people who could only make sounds at that point of their life – and the later part at home, lying flat on my back.
The first time I looked at myself, I was shocked: the skin of my stomach was hanging, the bones on my jaw and my knees stuck out, I had been drained by the experience.
Upon re-entering my office, after this extended absence, nothing seemed anymore “like before” — I realized that, had I not survived, there would have been three categories of things I would have left behind:
- 1. The things of no value, except on a personal level (the tchotchkes, small objects, books, papers, photos… ). Basically what would have become trash.
- 2. The things of value to his loved ones, the mementos… (and future trash).
- 3. The things that had monetary value.
Two categories were to be saved: what had financial value, and what had sentimental value. My office had been filled with “stuff“!
Did the significance of this insight extend beyond the objects in my office?
Although I had already emphasized in my teaching a tabula rasa approach to media, I needed to go deeper and reassess what I had taught for more than thirty years.
This is how the School of No Media was envisioned: a place where one could consider oblivion and venture into the truly unknown, what lies beyond the concepts and words – and media – we are so quick to resort to.
LAST BUT NOT LEAST: IF your family has a history of brain bleed(s) please GET EXAMINED (MRI…). It is often passed on through the genes.
My father died of a brain hemorrhage at the same age I had mine.
*My brain bleed symptom: with no history of migraine headaches, I had a, never-felt-before, huge headache.